Oh yeah! I'm so excited! Yesterday I saw a billboard near where I work with me and the other cast on it - it's obviously digital renderings, I maybe only know a couple of those people personally, but it's still awesome.
In its own way. I'm only an intern so I don't get to be on screen, but I have been trying to audition for background roles! I figure if I do a good job on this reality show, I could use that as a stepping stone to get a spoken part. Getting to be on TV with a recurring role is the goal.
...I just think it's something to keep in mind. If it doesn't feel right--if. If it seems too slapdash or unsafe...I hope you'll walk away. I hope you'll be able to make that choice.
It doesn't matter, because nothing is going to happen! We're going to go to space for a couple weeks, do some stupid funny crap for tv, and that's that.
[oH. it does sound...really negative...doesn't it.]
I'm sorry. The whole venture, it--it just seems so...strange. To have that technology so suddenly? For a show, it...I don't know, Loma. I'm worried about what will happen to you--to all my friends out there.
I'll be very happy to be wrong--and, and happier still if you get to have what you want. Truly! I just-- I, I don't know...
Well you shouldn't be. We're going to be just fine. Hell, you can just turn on your tv and watch us being just fine! You're getting worried for no reason!
[ and she has to say that, because now she's getting nervous, a far cry from how ecstatic she was to hear of her selection. ]
...I can't promise not to worry. It's impossible. But... I'll trust you. And the others. I'll root for you and...trust that things will be fine. I can do that much, from down here.
[ she can take care of it, like always. but... she isn't used to people caring about her enough to check-in. when you live a life of not getting close to people, genuine concern is a rarity. to that end-- ]
[ friends. she hates that word and doesn't want the responsibility that comes with it. she wants that word and to be part of it. she doesn't know what she wants. ]
Good bye, Manabu.
[ and she hangs up, not willing to wait for a response. ]
Hey hi! I was ported out for a day, but from the ashes, I rise. Like a glittering phoenix. I don't know if you noticed I was gone or not? But my other friend was really worried about me. And, well. Like it or not, you're my friend, too. Thus: I'm letting you know I'm okay. Looooooove youuuuuuuuuuuuu xoxoxoxoxo ~Odin Dark
[ what is up with everyone calling themselves her goddamn friend lately ugh. ]
Cool story glittering phoenix. Only thing you missed were people hating on us for going to space. Which is still very exciting and not a government conspiracy.
Glad you're back.
[ that is the one bone she will throw on this matter. ]
People always hate on artists. We'll be appreciated after our deaths, which I guess are probably pretty imminent? What with the government being off of its leash (apparently?). And, you know. Also us. I think it'll be disappointing if neither of us end up hospitalized by our own horsefeather adventures. Man, the things we'll do up there.
But thanks! And also: gross? Way to miss me! Hahaha. WAY TO MISS ME!!!!!!!!!!!
Artists really do only get famous after they die. Which is shit because I don't want to die! Life is very unfair that way. I'm sure we'll be fine. I mean if the government blows us up in space I imagine people would be very upset about that. Especially the nine of us.
And please don't rub in the fact that I am starting to experience a feeling for you. Against all the odds because feeling things for other people is hard. Rude tbh.
Yeah... actually, you know what? I know that up until now I've basically been saying that if you stick with me, we'll both live fast and die young and go out together in some radical blaze of glory or whatever. But fuck that! Stick with me and we'll live forever. I don't know how yet, but that's the new game plan, okay? We'll figure it out as we go. We've got forever to work out the deets, now that we're gonna be immortal and all.
And, uh, Heh. I don't know what to say! I'm 30% hurt that you didn't already have a well-established feeling for me, 30% happy that you're experiencing a feeling for me now, 30% warm and fuzzy and happy over you being comfortable enough to tell me you have the start of a feeling for me, 30% generally just overwhelmed with how much I love and respect you as a person and 30% grateful to have you in my life. (I think I said it already, but just to be clear, I have a feeling for you, too.)
But I guess to be more clear, I always had some feeling for you since the first time we talked. However, I think it has been developing into something I don't understand.
I want to understand it though, so I'm trying this new thing? It's called "not running like an Avian with my head cut off at the slightest hint of something I don't get." Which is hard for me.
Anyway. Fuck it. Let's be immortal. I'm sure some asshole here has a power that can make us immortal.
[ "it's always leg day when you're running from your problems", except when you don't run from your problems and actually try to solve them... well. she's trying to change, little by little. ]
Okay, well, listen. Either interpretation of this whole "getting a feeling" thing - that you're struggling with being my friend, or that you're falling in love with me - or some third option I don't understand - Nothing's going to change how I feel about you? How I feel about you begins and ends with "Loma Shade is an amazing person who I love spending time with." You just make me happy when i'm around you. I don't want that feeling to go away, and the more I learn about you and the more time I spend with you, the more that feeling grows. So. Don't worry about it so much. Whatever comes from whatever it is you're feeling, I'm always gonna like you, idiot.
There's a vampire here who said he'd turn me into one. I really wanted to do it, but Peter Maximoff scolded me? I guess because handing over your soul to someone just because you think it would be cool is "shortsighted" or whatever. Coward. Either way, that's an option. We could genuinely become immortal and stay together for as long as the portal lets us, then spend the rest of our lives back home (when we're inevitably ported out) figuring out a way to travel across time and tide to find each other again. Pretty fuckin' chill endgame for this relationship, bro!
Bit of 1 and 3. You wish I was falling head over heels in love with you and your charming act of crazed stupidity. It isn't happening.
Onto more important subjects: Peter Maximoff is a hack. Go be a vampire. Live your dreams. And if it doesn't work out then I guess we'll just need to find an exorcist or something else. SOMEONE here maybe has some kind of power to reverse vampire-ness. I'm sure. 50% sure. In that it's either a "Yes" or "No" and there is a 50% chance either way.
And I would gladly comb through the Madness of the universe to find you again should we separate. Ok that is how much I can admit to liking you. Please don't make me say more.
I totally do. That'd be a wild-ass confidence boost. Being the person to finally capture the Loma Shade's dead, reptilian heart? Man. The power.
Listen, about Peter-- oh, exorcist stuff, yeah, sounds good. I don't care about that anymore. We're talking about Peter now. You and I need to form an alliance specifically against him, once we're in space. He's funny. He's smart. He's well-liked, for some reason. We need to strike against him. He already thinks I'm in an alliance with him, because he, too, is aware that I am a threat, and he of course wants me close by. We're both goofballs, he and I, so we're filling the same niche. Fans of goofball boys will be split in two camps. But I have killed people before and he has not. He does not have the guts to muscle me out of my role as The Funny Prankster Guy. But you're also funny and great, and if you formed an alliance with him, you could both overpower me. I'm not letting that happen. I need you to help me slaughter him up there.
I won't make you say any more about how you like me but I'm going to print out what you just said and put it above my bathroom mirror so every morning when I wake up and wash my face I'll go into a new day with the knowledge that we're best best best friends forever and ever and ever. Deal with it, to be honest.
Odin do you really want to do that? Look I know you want to pretend like you can be this cool, awesome, badass that makes alliances, betrays people on the dime and only cares about winning. But let's be honest. Ok?
You are here to make friends. And you can't make friends AND win in these kinds of situations.
Serpentine? Are snakes reptiles? I actually have a very loose grasp on what a reptile is. What are alligators?
I'm not there to make friends, though! I'm friends with everyone that's already going up there, for the most part. I'm literally on good terms with everyone except for Luke and that Edd guy who I don't know. So. Can't make friends when I've already got 'em! I can totally destroy them all, though.
I don't know what alligators are, I just know I am not a reptile!
You do realize that if you destroy your friendships, fixing them is kind of not easy? Take it from someone who knows how to burn a bridge. Setting it on fire is super easy. Fixing it after the fact? Not so much. If that's the route you want to go then by all means. Just be careful. Some people may take this reality show personally.
Okay, okay. I'm sorry. I was just kidding, anyway. Your heart is a big fluffy marshmallow that you're hiding behind layers of cool.
Man. Okay, no, you're right. I don't want to like, actually hurt anybody. I think it'll be okay to mess with some of them, though? Peter and I mess with each other all the time, and I imagine he expects me to go all out. And I literally lit Riptide on fire once and he just kinda took it. The others... I can't mess with Poe. You're right. I'll be careful with Poe. And you're the person I'm closest to out of everyone, so obviously I don't want to screw with you too hard if you're gonna take it personally.
The others I don't care so much about? Whoops whoops whoops.
Oh Odin, I will not take anything personally during this space trip. Or seriously for that matter. This show is a game. You got to play to win and what happens in space stays in space. I'm going to be a TV star. This is like a huge dream for me. And I want it to be fun. Everyone going "wow we might blow up and die" and "wow this is probably an EVIL GOVERNMENT THING" are seriously killing my vibe.
Point being here is you are free to ally and betray and do whatever. As long as we agree it's for the sake of the show and having a good time and not real.
If it's an evil government blow-up murder plan, so be it. Look at all the publicity we're getting. Our faces are on billboards all over every city! I can't imagine we won't get out of this okay. In fact, if we all die, it'll be our origin stories. After we respawn, we'll get all these interviews from journalists asking how we handled the government betrayal or whatever, and we'll give them the answers they want, and then a year from now, it'll be like, "Woah! Shade's new single came out and it's CHOICELY DOPE. This is the new theme song to her show, right? Man, that tragic government mega-death really kickstarted her career into superstardom!" And you'll be like, whatever. Because it'll be the 200th time that very conversation has happened.
But yeah, I agree. Do what you want to me. This worthless body is yours to manipulate. You can betray me as much as you want. You already did it once, and then you kissed me. Remember? You kissed me after betraying me once before. I brought this up before but I'm bringing it up again. Remember doing that? I remember.
I don't want to be famous because I died but I did talk to Riptide about it and we came to the conclusion that most people do become famous because they die. Makes me wish those times I died in the murder house would do the trick but I guess it needs to be televised for the hungry masses.
On the flipside, I bet you will become super popular and famous after this too. You need to get ready to fuck up a lot breakfast foods for your v-log, because your follower count will accelerate into the stars. Being internet famous is apparently just as good as being real famous these days, and you will get to be BOTH.
Unpopular opinion, but the murder house sucked and I hate it. I'm just trying to be callously flippant to keep your dream alive, but I agree that death is for suckers. Thus the whole immortal, Madness-dwelling universe-crossing plan we've got going on. Hey. Hey. Hey. If there is a bad guy government conspiracy, I'll keep you safe. Don't worry.
Man, that's so true, though! I don't know how I'm going to handle all the love, honestly. JUST KIDDING, I'M GOING TO HANDLE IT BRILLIANTLY AND SUCCESSFULLY, AS IS BEFITTING OF A NOBLE SUPERSTAR LIKE MYSELF. It should go without saying, but if I get famous before you, I'll help you ride my coattails to the top. We've gotta be big together or not at all. Or, well, I've gotta be big with you or not at all. You can get big on your own, if you want. You don't owe me anything. You still need to be on my vlog with me... maybe next month? Some kind of post-space interview between the two hottest, most famousest people in America. You game?
No need Odin because it's definitely NOT a conspiracy! Nobody has to protect anyone.
And dude, yes. We're gonna blow so many people's minds. They think one screaming lunatic is mad, just wait until they experience DOUBLE the screaming lunatic. You let me know what you need me to do and I'll provide in spades. Let's rise to the top on madness. I'm game.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
PHONE, nov 6
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[OH— it’s not a voice machine—] O—oh! Loma, hi! Hello, it’s Manabu.
I didn’t catch you at a bad time, did I?
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Ahm. So, so I saw—or, heard...about that space gig...
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[beat.
BE MORE TRANSPARENT ABOUT YOUR UNEASE MANABU
I DARE U]
Hey, Loma? Have you...been to space before?
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No.
[ not. entirely untrue. travelling between planets on a cosmic stream of intense power is not the same as "being in space." ]
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...]
So—this, the show. The crew...are they putting you through training? Flight mechanics, safety measures...
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[ bright... side... ]
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Well—well, is there a schedule for that? Before you and all the others are sent up?
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[...]
Hey, Loma?
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[ she's. not sure. ]
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[sigh.]
...I just think it's something to keep in mind. If it doesn't feel right--if. If it seems too slapdash or unsafe...I hope you'll walk away. I hope you'll be able to make that choice.
If not--let me know. I'll find a way to help.
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...Can you survive in space? If something happens?
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[hhh.]
I hope you're right.
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[oH. it does sound...really negative...doesn't it.]
I'm sorry. The whole venture, it--it just seems so...strange. To have that technology so suddenly? For a show, it...I don't know, Loma. I'm worried about what will happen to you--to all my friends out there.
I'll be very happy to be wrong--and, and happier still if you get to have what you want. Truly! I just-- I, I don't know...
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[ and she has to say that, because now she's getting nervous, a far cry from how ecstatic she was to hear of her selection. ]
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[exhale.
beat.]
...I can't promise not to worry. It's impossible. But... I'll trust you. And the others. I'll root for you and...trust that things will be fine. I can do that much, from down here.
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[ she breathes in and lets it out, closing her eyes. ]
Sorry. I've just... it's been a rough couple weeks. This is the only good thing going for me right now.
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smaller:] Is...there anything I can do?
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[ she can take care of it, like always. but... she isn't used to people caring about her enough to check-in. when you live a life of not getting close to people, genuine concern is a rarity. to that end-- ]
Thank you though. For calling me.
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[ friends. she hates that word and doesn't want the responsibility that comes with it. she wants that word and to be part of it. she doesn't know what she wants. ]
Good bye, Manabu.
[ and she hangs up, not willing to wait for a response. ]
text
I was ported out for a day, but from the ashes, I rise. Like a glittering phoenix.
I don't know if you noticed I was gone or not? But my other friend was really worried about me.
And, well.
Like it or not, you're my friend, too.
Thus: I'm letting you know I'm okay.
Looooooove youuuuuuuuuuuuu xoxoxoxoxo ~Odin Dark
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Cool story glittering phoenix.
Only thing you missed were people hating on us for going to space.
Which is still very exciting and not a government conspiracy.
Glad you're back.
[ that is the one bone she will throw on this matter. ]
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We'll be appreciated after our deaths, which I guess are probably pretty imminent? What with the government being off of its leash (apparently?).
And, you know. Also us. I think it'll be disappointing if neither of us end up hospitalized by our own horsefeather adventures.
Man, the things we'll do up there.
But thanks! And also: gross? Way to miss me!
Hahaha.
WAY TO MISS ME!!!!!!!!!!!
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Which is shit because I don't want to die! Life is very unfair that way.
I'm sure we'll be fine. I mean if the government blows us up in space I imagine people would be very upset about that.
Especially the nine of us.
And please don't rub in the fact that I am starting to experience a feeling for you. Against all the odds because feeling things for other people is hard.
Rude tbh.
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I know that up until now I've basically been saying that if you stick with me, we'll both live fast and die young and go out together in some radical blaze of glory or whatever.
But fuck that!
Stick with me and we'll live forever. I don't know how yet, but that's the new game plan, okay? We'll figure it out as we go.
We've got forever to work out the deets, now that we're gonna be immortal and all.
And, uh,
Heh.
I don't know what to say!
I'm 30% hurt that you didn't already have a well-established feeling for me, 30% happy that you're experiencing a feeling for me now, 30% warm and fuzzy and happy over you being comfortable enough to tell me you have the start of a feeling for me, 30% generally just overwhelmed with how much I love and respect you as a person and 30% grateful to have you in my life.
(I think I said it already, but just to be clear, I have a feeling for you, too.)
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But I guess to be more clear, I always had some feeling for you since the first time we talked. However, I think it has been developing into something I don't understand.
I want to understand it though, so I'm trying this new thing? It's called "not running like an Avian with my head cut off at the slightest hint of something I don't get." Which is hard for me.
Anyway. Fuck it. Let's be immortal.
I'm sure some asshole here has a power that can make us immortal.
[ "it's always leg day when you're running from your problems", except when you don't run from your problems and actually try to solve them... well. she's trying to change, little by little. ]
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Either interpretation of this whole "getting a feeling" thing - that you're struggling with being my friend, or that you're falling in love with me - or some third option I don't understand -
Nothing's going to change how I feel about you?
How I feel about you begins and ends with "Loma Shade is an amazing person who I love spending time with."
You just make me happy when i'm around you. I don't want that feeling to go away, and the more I learn about you and the more time I spend with you, the more that feeling grows.
So.
Don't worry about it so much.
Whatever comes from whatever it is you're feeling, I'm always gonna like you, idiot.
There's a vampire here who said he'd turn me into one.
I really wanted to do it, but Peter Maximoff scolded me? I guess because handing over your soul to someone just because you think it would be cool is "shortsighted" or whatever. Coward.
Either way, that's an option.
We could genuinely become immortal and stay together for as long as the portal lets us, then spend the rest of our lives back home (when we're inevitably ported out) figuring out a way to travel across time and tide to find each other again.
Pretty fuckin' chill endgame for this relationship, bro!
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Onto more important subjects: Peter Maximoff is a hack.
Go be a vampire. Live your dreams. And if it doesn't work out then I guess we'll just need to find an exorcist or something else. SOMEONE here maybe has some kind of power to reverse vampire-ness. I'm sure. 50% sure. In that it's either a "Yes" or "No" and there is a 50% chance either way.
And I would gladly comb through the Madness of the universe to find you again should we separate.
Ok that is how much I can admit to liking you. Please don't make me say more.
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Being the person to finally capture the Loma Shade's dead, reptilian heart? Man.
The power.
Listen, about Peter-- oh, exorcist stuff, yeah, sounds good. I don't care about that anymore. We're talking about Peter now.
You and I need to form an alliance specifically against him, once we're in space.
He's funny. He's smart. He's well-liked, for some reason.
We need to strike against him. He already thinks I'm in an alliance with him, because he, too, is aware that I am a threat, and he of course wants me close by.
We're both goofballs, he and I, so we're filling the same niche. Fans of goofball boys will be split in two camps.
But I have killed people before and he has not.
He does not have the guts to muscle me out of my role as The Funny Prankster Guy.
But you're also funny and great, and if you formed an alliance with him, you could both overpower me.
I'm not letting that happen.
I need you to help me slaughter him up there.
I won't make you say any more about how you like me but I'm going to print out what you just said and put it above my bathroom mirror so every morning when I wake up and wash my face I'll go into a new day with the knowledge that we're best best best friends forever and ever and ever.
Deal with it, to be honest.
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Odin do you really want to do that?
Look I know you want to pretend like you can be this cool, awesome, badass that makes alliances, betrays people on the dime and only cares about winning.
But let's be honest.
Ok?
You are here to make friends.
And you can't make friends AND win in these kinds of situations.
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Are snakes reptiles?
I actually have a very loose grasp on what a reptile is.
What are alligators?
I'm not there to make friends, though! I'm friends with everyone that's already going up there, for the most part.
I'm literally on good terms with everyone except for Luke and that Edd guy who I don't know.
So.
Can't make friends when I've already got 'em!
I can totally destroy them all, though.
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You do realize that if you destroy your friendships, fixing them is kind of not easy?
Take it from someone who knows how to burn a bridge. Setting it on fire is super easy. Fixing it after the fact? Not so much.
If that's the route you want to go then by all means.
Just be careful. Some people may take this reality show personally.
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I'm sorry.
I was just kidding, anyway. Your heart is a big fluffy marshmallow that you're hiding behind layers of cool.
Man.
Okay, no, you're right. I don't want to like, actually hurt anybody.
I think it'll be okay to mess with some of them, though? Peter and I mess with each other all the time, and I imagine he expects me to go all out.
And I literally lit Riptide on fire once and he just kinda took it.
The others...
I can't mess with Poe. You're right. I'll be careful with Poe.
And you're the person I'm closest to out of everyone, so obviously I don't want to screw with you too hard if you're gonna take it personally.
The others I don't care so much about? Whoops whoops whoops.
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Or seriously for that matter.
This show is a game. You got to play to win and what happens in space stays in space.
I'm going to be a TV star. This is like a huge dream for me. And I want it to be fun. Everyone going "wow we might blow up and die" and "wow this is probably an EVIL GOVERNMENT THING" are seriously killing my vibe.
Point being here is you are free to ally and betray and do whatever.
As long as we agree it's for the sake of the show and having a good time and not real.
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Look at all the publicity we're getting. Our faces are on billboards all over every city!
I can't imagine we won't get out of this okay. In fact, if we all die, it'll be our origin stories.
After we respawn, we'll get all these interviews from journalists asking how we handled the government betrayal or whatever, and we'll give them the answers they want, and then a year from now, it'll be like,
"Woah! Shade's new single came out and it's CHOICELY DOPE. This is the new theme song to her show, right? Man, that tragic government mega-death really kickstarted her career into superstardom!"
And you'll be like, whatever. Because it'll be the 200th time that very conversation has happened.
But yeah, I agree. Do what you want to me. This worthless body is yours to manipulate.
You can betray me as much as you want. You already did it once, and then you kissed me.
Remember?
You kissed me after betraying me once before. I brought this up before but I'm bringing it up again.
Remember doing that? I remember.
1/2
I
R
G
I
N.
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On the flipside, I bet you will become super popular and famous after this too. You need to get ready to fuck up a lot breakfast foods for your v-log, because your follower count will accelerate into the stars. Being internet famous is apparently just as good as being real famous these days, and you will get to be BOTH.
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I'm just trying to be callously flippant to keep your dream alive, but I agree that death is for suckers. Thus the whole immortal, Madness-dwelling universe-crossing plan we've got going on.
Hey.
Hey.
Hey.
If there is a bad guy government conspiracy, I'll keep you safe. Don't worry.
Man, that's so true, though! I don't know how I'm going to handle all the love, honestly.
JUST KIDDING, I'M GOING TO HANDLE IT BRILLIANTLY AND SUCCESSFULLY, AS IS BEFITTING OF A NOBLE SUPERSTAR LIKE MYSELF.
It should go without saying, but if I get famous before you, I'll help you ride my coattails to the top.
We've gotta be big together or not at all. Or, well, I've gotta be big with you or not at all. You can get big on your own, if you want.
You don't owe me anything.
You still need to be on my vlog with me... maybe next month? Some kind of post-space interview between the two hottest, most famousest people in America.
You game?
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And dude, yes. We're gonna blow so many people's minds.
They think one screaming lunatic is mad, just wait until they experience DOUBLE the screaming lunatic.
You let me know what you need me to do and I'll provide in spades.
Let's rise to the top on madness. I'm game.